There is a certain group of Sex and the City fans that I call the TBS Fans, you know those people who can’t quite grasp, for some reason or other, what SATC was about. They’re the ones who think that SATC was primarily about fashion, and channel their inner Carrie or Charlote by dressing in ensembles falsely interpreting SATC fashions and inspired by a Forever 21 budget. Granted, the SATC characters had enviable material possessions, but I implore these TBS Fans to go back and watch all episodes (I recommend the third and fourth seasons)- it was rarely about the latest pair of Manolos. (Yes, really.)
So while watching the movie, and based on the rather over the top reactions to the caricature that was the first twenty minutes of the movie, I immediately knew that there would be some “new” annoying (and quite unnecessary) fads cropping up this summer. And here, ladies and gentlemen, I proceed to give you my humble predictions for the next new big things, courtesy of the buying power of the clueless TBS Fans:
-Bagborroworsteal.com (And shoot yourself if you’re just discovering the existence of the website);
-Diane Von Furstenberg being perpetually sold out. (Seriously, minus the product placement for Vivienne Westwood, could there have been any bigger product placement than an ENTIRE scene being shot at the DVF store?).
-Weddings at the New York Public Library (because, you know. It’s old and stuff. Oh. And it has character.).
-Adoptions of Asian babies. Named Carnation, Chrysanthemum (yes, E.J., that’s for you), Oleander, White Rose, and Grass.
-Use of the word “Color” to describe sex. (Don’t forget the incessant giggling to follow)
-Avian headdresses. (No worries, I’m praying too that I’m wrong.)
-Girls’ weekends in Mexico. (Cancun does NOT count.)
-Cosmopolitans... Again. Sigh.
-Coastal flights from Los Angeles to New York... for lunch. (So what if you haven't spoken to her since the fourth grade?)
-Clothing from Bitten (TBS Fan No. 1: “Can you believe I paid $5 for this top?” TBS Fan No.2: “OMG, really? So Carrie!”… Barf.)
-Personal Assistants (Because we’re all oh so busy).
-And finally, hoards of “fashionistas” moving to Chinatowns all over America. Which shall be inevitable, especially as Miranda specifically termed it the latest “up and coming” neighborhood. (No, dummies. She meant New York’s Chinatown. It doesn’t count if it’s in Idaho.)
It’s a world gone mad.