The Master Cleanse is this detox regimen where for ten days you consume nothing but a liquid diet made up of lemon juice, cayenne pepper, and maple syrup. Apparently it resets your system, boosts your metabolism, and since it's basically a fast, allows you to lose a few pounds. Inspired by friends and loving to deny myself things because it shows character, I decided to try the Cleanse. I lasted less than a day. The maple syrup will do since I eat waffles occasionally, but what shall I do with all the lemons I purchased in bulk?
Use it for house cleaning (Sorry, whenever did I strike one as being Martha Stewart-esque?)
Add a wedge to every glass of water consumed
Keep one in your purse. Likely in some culture it brings prosperity/fertility/wards off evil. Plus, you can use it as mace if someone tries to attack you at night.
Before they go bad and stink up your place, keep it around for times you have friends over: “You thought I was joking right? I told you, I have like, all these lemons!”
But in the end,
lemonade wins. There’s a slight chill in the air, but who cares? It’s still summer!