Yet another “virgin” is auctioning off her virginity to the highest bidder. 18 year old Alina Percea, inspired by the trail blazed by Natalie Dylan, has offered up her vah-jay-jay and the accompanying virginity for sale to the highest bidder. I am officially bored of these girls who seriously need to get a clue.
However, so as not to be hit with a case of the shoulda coulda wouldas, and also to capitalize on what apparently is the next investment gold mine (and also to seal my place in the history books: Natalie Dylan! Alina Percea! and Piglet-in-Wellies! Fearless! Groundbreaking! Pioneers! Feminists (barely suppressed laughter)!) I hereby announce:
PIGLET IN WELLIES SHALL AUCTION OFF HER VIRGINITY!
Except, for those of you who know me, that ship has long sailed (and sunk). But ever creative, this auction shall be truly groundbreaking because:
PIGLET IN WELLIES SHALL AUCTION OFF HER BUTTHOLE!*
Yes, dear readers, I am auctioning off my anal virginity. Although previously reserved for my future husband, this is a recession people, and accordingly, it’s every woman for herself. (Sorry A.)
*Please include width of penis in bid. Piglet reserves the right to reject any and all bids, and winner is not determined by the highest price but rather by a mathematical algorithm that factors in the bidder’s girth.