To the lame subset of the population encountered as of late on the subway:
I've actually had this phlegm-tastic cough for about a month now AND I've always had an extremely obnoxious cough. I am not a "terrorist" (as defined in the 2007 Webster Dictionary according to George W. Bush) trying to wipe out the entire population of NYC with my “pig germs”; I haven't even been to Mexico (does Texas count?) in months. These germs are old school, so stop giving me the bitch stare, quit your flinching and take off the gas masks. Last I checked, we're all gonna die anyway.