Thursday, June 11, 2009

Pregnancy post #2

Quite a number of us single, empty-wombed ladies* tend to judge those anointed few we so contemptuously label “smug preggos”, as if we are not destined to be part of this group one day. Some actions we are known for:
a) Chuckling at the below video,

b) Rolling our eyes at the pregnant friend who is barely into her first trimester yet insists on holding her still-flat belly while waddling everywhere,

c) Calling those women who have done the impossible by birthing babies AND choosing to stay at home “anti-feminists/Nazis”,

d) Smiling with glee at a friend's post-pregnancy pictures as posted on Facebook that reveal i) an aesthetically-challenged baby and ii) 95 pounds of “pregnancy weight” on a once lithe frame.
And yet, likelihood of us joining this awesomely exclusive group are pretty high. To fully determine this likelihood, please take the following quiz.
a) Do you have the natural propensity of telling people how your way of doing things is the best (Ex: "See, what's so great about me is I don't put sugar in my tea. So edgy")?

b) Have you ever said out loud "I can't wait to have kids, so I'll show these bitches how it's done."?

c) Are you a snob?

d) Do you daydream of having kids so you can legitimately go to strawberry/apple/orange/grape/tomato festivals which are super fun but kinda weird to do with similarly "childless" friends?

e) Have you ever said the following, "Pregnancy. It can be such a beautiful thing"?

f) In fact, are you planning on having a child one day?
If you answered yes to 2 or more, then congratulations! You shall be an annoying preggo person as well! Now stop being such a smug single, empty-wombed lady.

*Tongue-in-cheek people!

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