Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Pictures of kitchens with rainboots fill me with rage

More specifically, kitchens with cute little canisters on top of the cabinets that say "FLOUR" or "SUGAR" doubly fill me with rage.

 That is all.

Friday, January 18, 2013

Parenting really loudly on a train

"Yes Matthew, that is a homeless guy!  Can you spell homeless?"

"Well Matthew, the guy is sleeping on the train because he's tired...That's right Matthew!  You have a bed, and you sleep in your bed when tired!"

"Yes Matthew, the announcer guy just said the next stop is 42nd.  Can you count to 42?"

"Sweetie, the baby is crying because it's really tired!  But you're not tired, because you just took a nap.  Can you spell nap?"

"We're standing because the train is crowded and there are no seats.  Now, remember what we discussed about giving up seats on a subway?" 

"Can you show Mommy the girl's hat?  Good boy!  Now, can you point at that man's shoe?  You can touch it, of course he doesn't mind." 

"Well Matthew, the guy smells because he is homeless and doesn't have a home to shower.  Can you spell shower?"

"Well Matthew, the fat guy in the ad can't go up the stairs because he's fat.  But you don't eat fries, because you're a good boy!  Can you spell fries for Mommy?"

"Well Matthew, the people left their garbage on the train because no one taught them how to put things in a trash can, just like I taught you.  Can you show mommy a trash can?  Good boy!  Now can you spell trash cans?"

"Those kids are eating candy because their parents let them, and they don't understand that candy is bad for you.  Can you spell candy?"

"Well Matthew, the two guys on the ad are kissing because they like each other.  When you're old enough, you can kiss a guy if you want to.  And Mommy and Daddy will still love you anyway"

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Natural Hair Youtube Video ideas

How to deep condition using ostrich egg yolks, crushed walnuts, coffee grounds, and lavendar.

How to detangle your hair in under 8 hours.

How to drink vodka - and pour some on your head as a hair rinse

How to create curls with used bottles of absolut vodka

How to tie up your hair at night with used grocery bags and keep your sex life inexistent.

How to no-wash

How to blow dry your hair using a vacuum cleaner

How to pre-pre-poo

How to use detergent as shampoo

How to put your hair in a ponytail

How to stretch your curls using Dark & Lovely relaxer

How to make a hair rinse using balsamic vinegar

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

I just have one question... Why?

Yahoo! announced in an article that actor, Matt Dallas, has come out of the closet as a gay man.  

Also is the above picture of Matt Dallas, accompanying the caption, "Matt Dallas attends Tyler Shields debut of MOUTHFUL".  

Well! There was the first giveaway.  Maybe there should be a new rule:  If nobody is asking, we already assume you are.

Sunday, January 6, 2013

He WILL be followed

Unintentional frigging brilliance from the NY Times upon the Pope joining Twitter: "Vatican officials created a Twitter account for Pope Benedict XVI with the handle @Pontifex. “He won’t follow anyone for now,” said an adviser. “He will be followed.”"

I. want. this. on. a. t-shirt... now.  NOW!

Apparently my mother was an author in 1905.

I finally got around to reading Edith Wharton's The House of Mirth.  That book was a sort of horror story for every single woman over the age of 29.  Holy sh*t, if I end up like Lily Bart ("end up?" he laughed)... Sigh.

Pro-Life Feminist = Oxymoron, M'kay?

Emily Buchanan, the executive director of the Susan B. Anthony List recently wrote an article for Time Magazine entitled, "Pro-Life and Feminism Aren't Mutually Exclusive", in which she discusses everything but actual reasons as to why the anti-choice movement and feminism are not mutually exclusive.  Emily Buchanan, in her article, brought up the unquestionably asinine argument advanced frequently by so-called "Third-Wave Feminists"- you know, the argument that Feminism dictates that women have the right to equal pay in the work place, equal voices in the country's legislature and judiciary, the right and the choice to be stay-at-home mothers, the right and the choice to be the president of any Fortune 100 company, the right to be any ol' thing that they choose, including the right and choice to be pro-life.  

True, yes, definitely, true, true, uhhhh, NO.

How do I put this succinctly?  At its core, Feminism supports and demands the autonomy and freedom of women.  Therefore, any movement that supports legislation and/or engages in activity that directly or indirectly restricts such autonomy and freedom cannot be Feminist.

If I were to be slightly more verbose, I hereby proffer the rather wise words of Oogie upon reading Emily Buchanan's article:

a) When will these nut jobs (aka, anti-choicers) realize that being pro-choice could include concluding that abortion is morally f*cked up and that if one does so, is then going to hell, eternal damned, & c. & c. Except... Thinking this way still does not give one any right to impose their views on others- it's that simple.  
b) I hate women who just. don't. get. it. 
c) Sadly, Emily Buchanan's article is not shocking, because her viewpoint is the slippery slope women have allowed by deciding that feminism should be the freedom to do anything, including the freedom to actively prevent other women from advancing in society. 
d) These women are monsters, and I hope they self -abort."

Mmmm hmmm.

In the end, feminism does stand for something, and, primarily for that reason, not every choice is a feminist one.