Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Forwards from Ma: That one time we outed ourselves as heathens

As our two readers know, we often get forwarded messages from our mother.  Sometimes we misunderstand the intent of the message.

Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Dear Woman of God, Be still for a while and praise God for His favor, His grace and His Awesomeness. God is able to do the impossible and is always near. He loves us unconditionally. Together, let's get 1000 ladies to praise Him with one voice in this next hour. Please forward this to every woman you want God to bless. Let's all say this prayer during this hour: Dear God, This is my friend whom I love And this is my prayer for her. Help her live her life to the fullest. Please cause her to excel above her expectations. Help her to shine in the darkest places where it is impossible to love. Protect her at all times, lift her up when she needs You the most, and let her know when she walks with You, she will always be safe. Amen! Now you're on the clock . . .Tell nine sisters you love them, including me. Get going girl!! Do not ask the Lord to guide your footsteps if you are not willing to move."

And in what may be the most hilarious but honest exposure of an individual's spiritual leanings, Piglet replies all to respond:

          "I don't get the joke."

Uhm. Win.

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